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Three Simple Steps to Build Healthy Relationships

In striving to build healthy relationships (of any type, but most commonly romantic ones) it’s never a totally straightforward process. Hollywood movies certainly portray unrealistic stereotypes of love at first sight, but anyone who has actually been in a real-word relationship knows the road to happiness is never so simple.

holding hands


In this article you are going to learn three very simple and effective steps that will help you maintain and build healthy relationships. The strategies you are about to learn are sound, reliable, and time-tested. Don’t sweat the little stuff in your relationship, and instead use the following key methods to ensure an on-going state of bliss.



Develop Honest Communication

Most relationship counsellors and experts agree that communication is the biggest factor that can make or break a relationship. If you have deep and honest communication with your partner, then you will likely be able to overcome just about any challenge you could ever feasibly face.

However, if you and your partner lack effective communication, then even the smallest stumbling block could result in a complete breakdown of trust.

So how do you develop honest communication? Fundamentally, this needs to be achieved through willing two-way dialogue. Both you and your partner must feel comfortable and be willing to talk through any issues that arise.

This means that your communication cannot simply devolve into shouting matches or name calling when things get a little heated. Instead, both you and your partner need to have the opportunity to express concerns or issues and know that they will be heard by the other party.

Next time a situation arises in which honest communication is needed to achieve a desirable outcome, try giving your partner an opportunity to talk for as long as they need, but only on the proviso that you get to do the same.

This strategy will allow a middle ground to develop naturally, and you can therefore use honest communication to help build a healthy relationship.

Build a Shared Outlook on Life

Alongside honest communication, another of key element to build healthy relationships is to develop a shared outlook on life.

Basically, if you and your partner both have massively diverging outlooks on life (including long-term goals, inner beliefs, and desires) then it will be difficult to find common ground on which to stand in tough times.

On the other hand, if you both have a fairly coherent outlook on life, then you stand a much better chance of weathering any relationship storm.

Having a shared outlook on life does require, to a large extent, an innate ability to pick a partner who has demonstrated a similar mind-set before you commit to a proper relationship.

However, it is all too easy to get swept away with emotion when you start dating someone, and it is hardly the most romantic thing in the world to ruthlessly analyse the life outlook of someone you are courting.

Therefore, if you have wound up in a struggling relationship with someone who doesn’t really share the same outlook on life as you, there are some useful strategies you can use to try and find a common thread for the future.

Firstly, try to find a hobby that both of you can enjoy together. Whether it’s gardening or urban base jumping, having a shared hobby is probably the easiest way to develop a shared outlook on life. Ask your partner what kinds of new hobbies interest them, and then try to find some common ground to explore.

Another strategy in seeking to build healthy relationships is to create a shared outlook on life by sitting down and writing a list outlining where each of you see the relationship heading. Even if there is a great deal of divergence, the secret here is to look for common threads in each other’s lists. Use these as building blocks for a newfound shared outlook on life.

people walking on a path

Ensure Commitment to Each Other

This might sound a bit simple, but one of the most important factors in any desire to build healthy relationships is a strong commitment to each other. If you are not truly committed to your partner (or they are not committed to you) then the odds that your relationship will fail increase dramatically.

Unfortunately, true commitment is not something that can easily be taught. Instead you must reflect honestly and with great clarity on the level of commitment you have to your partner.  Provided you are both very committed, then your relationship has a greater chance of being healthy due to strong “glue” holding it together.

If you feel that your commitment is lacking somewhat, then you need to have an honest and open discussion with your partner, and decide what to do from there.

To finish off, you have to realise that building healthy relationships does not necessarily need to be an impossible task.

By following the three basic strategies outlined in this article, you will have everything you need to succeed in the world of romance and love with your partner.

I can confidently say that if you put all the small annoyances to once side, and focus on the fundamentals about how to build healthy relationships – you will never look back. I’ve followed these simple steps, and my 15 year relationship with the love of my life, has never been stronger. 

Would you like to know more about how to build healthy relationships ? Well, sign up to our newsletter series and grab your free e-book on how to become your best self. Do it today!


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  • Sinda

    While the early months of a relationship can feel effortless and exciting, successful long-term relationships involve ongoing effort and compromise by both partners. Building healthy patterns early in your relationship can establish a solid foundation for the long run.

    • I totally agree with your comment, I have found this in my life to be very true. Healthy patterns lead to a healthy relationship, and really, that’s what we are all after if we are honest with ourselves.

  • Lilila

    Communication is a key part to building a healthy relationship. The first step is making sure you both want and expect the same things — being on the same page is very important.

    • Hello Lilla -you are so correct – good communication is really the key to building success in ANY kind of relationship – work, personal or community. I really hope the article gave you something to think about. Thank you

  • Hairstyle

    Every relationship has disagreements and days when staying isn’t the easiest choice. But what makes a relationship healthy is choosing to resolve those problems and push through the hard days, instead of just letting issues and resentment fester.

    • I think one of the most effective ways to build healthy relationship is to work on your communication with your partner or friend. If you can’t communicate well, then your’e going nowhere fast. I really hope the three tips gave you something to think about. Thank you

  • Ines

    Being a good listener is all about paying attention to what they’re saying and not blowing it off. Sometimes, all your partner wants is for you to lend an ear and be sympathetic about one of their problems.

    • Ines, I couldn’t agree more with your comment – sometimes it’s that sympathetic ear that your partner needs to have to show off a healthy relationship.

  • Vandoff Corie

    There’s a difference between knowing that you’re loved and feeling that you’re loved. Sometimes, we bank on the fact that our partners should know that we love them even when we don’t show it. Don’t rely on this too much. The best relationships use affection to show love.

    • One of the best ways to ensure your partner knows they are loved by you is to say it. Communication of love need only be a few words – “I love you” is so easy to say, but how often is it said, and said with real feeling behind it?

  • Adam Miffo

    Changes in life outside
    your relationship will impact what you want and need from the relationship.
    Since change is inevitable, welcoming it as an opportunity to enhance the relationship
    is more fruitful than trying to keep it from happening.

    • Hi Adam, change is always happening, and there isn’t much anyone can do to stop it. If change is understood, and accepted, usually the resulting problems can be managed quite well. So long as your relationship is solid at its core, then embracing change might be a wonderful stimulation for your relationship.

  • Ratna Paul

    I think your post has nicely expressed the 3 crucial steps on building healthy relationship. Building a shared outlook on life is such an important factor in any healthy relationship. I think if you asked anyone on the street they would all say having a shared outlook on life is so important. Thanks for your nice post.

    • Hi Paul, thanks so much for your comment. I know from my relationship that a shared outlook on life is really important in securing a good relationship. It’s also great fun having someone special to share events, holidays, movies, concerts and the like. it makes life so much more enjoyable and fulfilling. Have a great day.