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Can You Really Control Your Anger?

Can you really control your anger? Some argue that anger is something you are born with – a problem that has no solution. 

control your anger

In this article we are going to examine this topic in further detail to determine whether you really can control your anger, and if so what sort of techniques you can use to keep it under control.

This is some incredibly powerful stuff, so pay close attention to learn what YOU need to know about anger management.

Anger is a totally normal human emotion. Every single person on this planet experiences anger from time to time (nobody, not even the most “chilled out” person in the world can escape feeling angry). Because it is an emotion, anger is therefore a common feature of human emotion, and is, nothing to fear.

However, anger becomes a problem when it gets out of control and you are unable to stop it manifesting into something more serious, such as violence or abuse. Anger management problems can lead to serious issues in the workplace, in your relationships, and in your family life.

So is it actually possible to control your anger? When that feeling of rage sets in, are there REAL things you can do to slow and even reverse its advance?

The Right Technique 

Yes! You can control your anger – it just requires the right techniques and the proper mind-set to do so. Furthermore, learning to manage your anger effectively is not an overnight process; it is actually something that could take you quite some time to learn.

Now that you know it is possible to control your anger, what can you do to manage it effectively? While it’s true that there is no magic pill solution for anger, there are a number of different techniques you can try that will make a huge difference for you.

Firstly, you need to focus on calm and relaxed breathing. By using your breathing in the correct manner (and no, I do NOT mean hyperventilating) you will become more relaxed and significantly more capable of managing your anger.

Breathe Deeply

Correct breathing for anger management is actually rather simple. You need to work on your “deep breathing”, which basically means that you have to focus your energies on taking very deep and slow breaths.

This lowers your heart rate and will release feel-good endorphins into your system. Try to avoid shallow breathing if your feel your anger levels rising, as these will actually exacerbate the problem and make it worse.

The only other thing you need to in order to control your anger easily is to find an activity or hobby that relaxes you and takes away stress and tension. If you find that playing a musical instrument makes you less angry, then spend more time playing your favourite instrument.

control your anger with love

Likewise, if you feel that sport really helps you, then you should focus on playing more sports. This is extremely simple but often overlooked by many!

Can you control your anger? Yes – it is entirely possible to control your anger and actually not very difficult at all. 

If anger regularly gets the better of you, or if you feel just a little bit ‘out of control’, I really recommend you think about getting one of the better self help programs around. It’s called ‘Amazing Self‘ by Mark Ling and he’s put together a program that is truly helpful and easy to follow.

The secret to controlling it effectively is to understand that your anger is normal (don’t be afraid of it) and then focus on eroding its power with deep breathing and leisure activities. Implement these simple strategies into your life and you will become a much calmer and happier person.

Would you like to know more about how to really control your anger ? Well, sign up to our newsletter series and grab your free ebook on how to become your best self. Do it today!


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  • Lilila

    This has been helpful. I lost the guy I wanted to be with for the rest of my life because of this. But I didn’t realise it was my anger and how I dealt with situations that pushed him away.
    Hopefully he may be there later in life. Then, we can progress knowing there’s a future where there’s calmness and the right way to treat another person. Which should be the only way.

    • Hey Lilila, I’m sorry to hear your anger got the better of you, and had a negative impact on your hopes for the future.

      It’s so important to realise that letting anger get control of us can have terrible consequences for us and other people. It’s a very sobering thought.

  • Hairstyle

    Counting to 10 isn’t just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit.

    • Hey Hairstyle – Counting to 10 is good, so is deep breathing, so is removing yourself from a difficult situation. Controlling your anger really requires you to be in control of your emotions and your responses. It’s something everyone can improve on. Have a great day.

  • Ines

    Everybody gets angry, but out-of-control rage isn’t good for you or those around you. When you can’t control your anger, you may get into fist-fights or drive recklessly, for example, endangering yourself and others.

    • Hello Ines, thanks for your comment – its very important to be able to control your anger because if you don’t the results can be terrible for you and others. Many people today seem to lack some type of impulse control, and we are seeing the results of that. Have a great day

  • Vandoff Corie

    Humor can help defuse rage in several ways. it can help you get a more balanced perspective.

  • Adam Miffo

    Sometimes anger and frustration are the result of very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Anger can be a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. Some people have a cultural belief that every problem has a solution. That belief adds to their frustration when they find out that this isn’t always true. If you can’t find a solution, focus on how to handle and face the problem.

    • Adam, i think you make a very important point, if you really can’t find a solution then you need to step away from the problem, and get some space. it’s very surprising how often you can come across answers when you have removed yourself from the ‘heat of the moment’.

  • Barbara

    Anger is a normal human emotion and when it is managed properly it is not a problem. Everyone gets angry, and mild anger can sometimes be useful to express strong feelings and deal with situations. However, if anger is expressed in harmful ways, or persists over a long period of time, then it can lead to problems in relationships at home and at work and can affect the overall quality of your life.

    • Hi Barbara, I think you are quite right when you say ‘when it is managed properly, it’s not a problem’. So true, that is why i hope people are able to take the main points from the article, and apply it to their lives. Have a great day.